God must hold more weight (glory)

God must hold more weight (glory) than my own life. My substitutions could never amount to the glory of God. My trials consume me to the point where God is no longer King of my heart, My sin seduces me, My longing compels me to betray the God of truth, for the small weightless substitutes that never seem to satisfy. Even as a christian, a believer in Christ, even in knowing that my whole life's purpose is to glorify him with a life that worships and thanks Him, I still have unbelief. Not in the sense that I intentionally state I don't believe Christ. I believe all the works of Christ to be true and are what my life depends on. But there is a disconnect between belief and lifestyle. My sinful nature is consistently fighting my spirit man, at least every 5 minutes. Sin is doubting that God should abide in me. Its the small things that are big things to God. We think they don't matter, but that is where God sees that we don't truly trust Him.To truly follow Christ means to know and admit there are areas of my life that are hidden from him. It means that in every aspect of my life, God and I must wrestle, and He must win in every corner and crevice of my life.

To follow Christ is not to say now I am perfect ( though we are made righteous by the covering of Christ). It is to know and receive that Christ is perfect, and was perfect on my behalf. And now out of the duty of love, I let God change my life completely. Which means no longer am I in control. No longer do I only discuss with myself before making a decision. I turn to Christ for my every move. My life no longer is about succeeding and reaching my goals (though that is great). It is now about God's agenda, giving Him glory with my life, and reaching His people for His purpose. As I am saved by Christ, I take on his last name so to speak. I trade my sin for his righteousness, We are made one. But the flesh is still present, fighting everyday to divide my marriage with Christ.  Knowing what sin cost (my joy and my life) how can it still allure me? Because there must be areas of my life where God doesn't abide. When left to myself, I commit adultery (disrespecting God to please myself). The areas of my life where darkness remains are what keep God abstract, allowing my sinful nature to abuse my spirit man. But If I choose Christ, I must choose Him in this; love, family, friends, music, clothes, hobbies, work, school, intellectual thought, emotions, relationship, my mind, body and soul. I must stop agreeing with God only where it is convenient for me. I will not have an affair on God, He is faithful to me, He is my name, He is my God, He is my Master (pun intended as well). What ever situations and circumstances swarm my life like a million bees, may I never be moved from behind The Rock which is Christ.

It is okay to admit that you struggle to follow Christ in some parts of your life. But Admit it! Acknowledge, take some time with it. Question yourself, why is this thing of value to me? Do I know that this (if it is not Christ himself) will not solve all my problems inward and outward, it will not satisfy the ultimate longing of my soul? Am I truly genuinely happy with this arena of my life or am I just comfortable or just feel trapped? Our life struggles seem so large to us. But when put in perspective they would not consume us so much, We must admit that God is all we need. God is the sustaining ultimate satisfaction. He must hold more weight than anything you have or will ever experience. Because His love is out of this world.